Jacquie Doucette, Author at Beyond Retirement

Fix Your Sleep After the Time Change

Jacquie Doucette — Sun, 02 Nov 2025 21:25:28 +0000

Sleep After the Clock Change (and Through the Dark Months)

A friendly plan for steadier nights, stronger mornings, and saner holidays

TL;DR: When clocks shift and daylight shrinks, your body clock drifts. You’ll sleep better if you lean into morning light, consistent wake-ups, a calm evening routine, and a one-week reset. If low mood spikes in winter, consider light therapy or talk to your clinician. This guide gives you a practical plan that fits real life—without fads.

If your sleep feels off after the clocks change, you’re not imagining it. Even a one-hour shift nudges your internal clock out of sync with the light outside and the routine you’ve built inside. That mismatch can leave you wide-awake at 3 a.m., sluggish at noon, and nodding off after dinner. The fix is simpler than it looks: timing your light, pacing your day, and protecting your wind-down for a week, then keeping what works.

Let’s map out a plan designed for older adults: practical, gentle, and backed by reputable sources.

What your body needs (in plain English)

Target 7–8(–9) hours. Older adults need about the same sleep as other adults, roughly 7–9 hours, though it’s common to get sleepy earlier and wake earlier than you used to. If you’re routinely sleepy in the day or having trouble getting enough sleep, it’s worth checking in with your clinician.
Light is your steering wheel. Morning light advances your internal clock (makes you sleepy earlier that night). Bright evening light, especially blue-rich light, delays it. That’s why the clock change plus darker afternoons can scramble things.
Routines reinforce rhythms. Consistent wake times, a quiet, cool bedroom, and predictable wind-down habits support deeper sleep. These are the same basics that public health agencies teach because they work.

Your one-week reset (use this right after the time change or anytime sleep slips)

Goal: lock in a steady wake time, flood your eyes with morning light, and reduce the evening “noise” that keeps your brain revved.

Day 1–2: Anchor your morning

Pick a wake time you can keep every day (yes, weekends). Set an alarm for getting up, not just going to bed.
Within 30 minutes of waking, get bright light for 30–60 minutes: sit by the sunniest window with breakfast, take a short outdoor walk, or turn on bright room lights if the weather won’t cooperate. Morning light is the fastest way to realign your clock. sleepeducation.org
Move your body a little (even 10 minutes). Save vigorous exercise for earlier in the day if late-day workouts keep you wired.

Day 3–4: Calm your evening

Dim and warm your lights 2–3 hours before bed; reduce blue-heavy light from TVs, tablets, and phones—or use them farther away from your eyes. Blue-rich light at night delays melatonin and pushes sleep later.
Avoid caffeine after early afternoon; go easy on alcohol and large meals near bedtime (they fragment sleep).
Create a short wind-down routine: the same three steps each night (e.g., a cup of herbal tea, a light stretch, one chapter). Predictable beats perfect.

Day 5–7: Nudge bedtime, protect the bedroom

If you’re still falling asleep later than you want, shift bedtime 15 minutes earlier each night until you land where you like—but keep the same wake time.
Make the bedroom cool, quiet, and dark (heavy curtains help when streetlights or early sun intrude). Turn off devices 30–60 minutes before lights out.
Still waking too early? Add more morning light and less evening light; the combo re-trains your clock.

Keep what works after week one: steady wake-ups, morning light, and a predictable wind-down.

Troubleshooting common winter sleep snags

“I feel sleepy right after dinner.”

That’s the darker season talking. Try a 5–10 minute brisk walk indoors or outside after eating, keep lights brighter early evening, and then dim them two hours before bed so sleepiness lands later—closer to your target bedtime.

“I’m wide awake at 3 a.m.”

Don’t fight the pillow. Sit up somewhere dim and keep lights low; do something quiet (puzzle, audiobook). Return to bed when you’re drowsy. Double down on morning light tomorrow. Avoid daytime naps longer than ~20–30 minutes—they can cut into sleep drive that night.

“Travel and guests keep knocking me off schedule.”

Protect wake time first. Even if bedtime slips, get up at your usual time and get morning light. Your nights will follow within a couple of days.

Winter mood dips vs. something more: when to consider light therapy (and how)

If darker months leave you low-energy, gloomy, or craving carbs, you might be feeling seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or a milder winter pattern. Effective, first-line treatments include light therapy, psychotherapy, antidepressant medication, and vitamin D (when deficient), often in combination. Talk with your clinician about the best mix for you.

Light therapy basics (for winter-pattern SAD):

Look for a device marketed for SAD with 10,000 lux at a comfortable distance, designed to minimize UV. Sit with it in your morning routine for 20–30 minutes, eyes open (but not staring into the light). Most people use it daily through the darker months.
Evidence: Systematic reviews suggest benefit for SAD treatment; preventive data are mixed to modest, so clinicians often recommend starting during early symptoms each season rather than relying on “prevention” alone.

A gentle note on expectations: Some individuals, especially older adults, also respond to structured morning light that’s less intense (sunlight near a window, outdoor light). Small clinical studies and expert commentary suggest earlier bedtimes and greater regularity with morning blue-enriched light exposure, but medical-grade SAD boxes remain the more standardized treatment when symptoms are significant.

When to seek help: If low mood lasts most days for 2+ weeks, or you lose interest in things you usually enjoy, contact your health provider. If you have thoughts of self-harm, seek urgent care.

Smart habits that matter more in winter

1) Morning light is medicine

Think sun on your face, even if it’s cloudy. Bright outdoor light can be more than 10 times as strong as indoor room light, and it is your most powerful daytime cue. On stormy days, sit by the brightest window during breakfast.

2) Evenings should get quieter (and warmer)

Shift the lamps to a warmer, dimmer setting after dinner, and keep the screens farther from your eyes. Blue-rich light at night keeps your brain in “day mode.”

3) Treat your bedroom like a cave

Cool, quiet, dark. If outside lights or early sunrise wake you, add blackouts or a sleep mask. If noise is the issue, try white noise or an inexpensive fan.

4) Mind your inputs

Caffeine can hang around for 6+ hours. Alcohol might help you doze, but it wrecks deeper sleep later; finish drinks several hours before bed. Go lighter on liquids late at night to reduce bathroom trips.

5) Move most days (but not too late)

Regular activity supports sleep quality in older adults; just avoid vigorous exercise close to bedtime if it revs you up.

“Is there anything official about the clock change itself?”

Sleep-medicine groups argue that repeated clock shifts disrupt circadian timing and are linked, population-wide, to safety and health risks. They favor permanent standard time because it is closer to human biology. That policy debate is still ongoing, but for your day-to-day, the takeaway is the same: use morning light, steady wake times, and calmer evenings to reduce the jolt each fall and spring.

When snoring and sleepiness point to something else

If your partner notices loud snoring, pauses in breathing, or you’re dealing with morning headaches and unrefreshing sleep, ask about obstructive sleep apnea (OSA). Routine screening of everyone isn’t currently recommended by the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force, but clinicians use their judgment based on symptoms and risks, especially in older adults. If OSA is suspected, testing and treatment can dramatically improve sleep (and daytime energy).

Your two-minute “Sleep After the Time Change” checklist

Wake time set (and kept) every day
Morning light for 30–60 minutes (outdoors or brightest window)
Evening lights dimmer/warmer 2–3 hours before bed; screens farther away
Caffeine cutoff early afternoon; alcohol/light meals in the evening
Short wind-down ritual you actually enjoy
Bedroom cool/quiet/dark; devices off 30–60 minutes pre-bed
Naps short (≤30 minutes) and early
Mood check: if winter blues persist, ask about light therapy and support

Stick this list on the fridge. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s consistency.

A realistic week-by-week glide path (keep what helps)

Week 1: Lock in wake time. Flood mornings with light. Trim late caffeine.
Week 2: Add a walk after lunch for energy; dim lights earlier; tighten your wind-down.
Week 3: If you still wake too early, add more morning light and shift bedtime 15 min earlier every 2–3 nights.
Week 4: If mood stays low, discuss light therapy or CBT-I (insomnia therapy) with your provider; both have evidence for helping older adults sleep better and feel steadier in winter.

If this helped, try the one-week reset and tell me which habit made the biggest difference. Then queue up the Beyond Retirement podcast: listen to past episodes, get ready for the next one, and suggest guests. We’re interviewing retirees about expectations vs. reality in retirement. Your story (or your neighbour’s) could be exactly what someone needs this winter.

Resources used:

Sleep basics for older adults (NIH/NIA): how much sleep you need, common problems, and when to talk with a doctor. National Institute on Aging
Healthy sleep habits (CDC): bedroom, schedule, food/drink, and screens—practical tips that work. cdc.gov
Daylight saving time & circadian rhythm (AASM): why morning light and steady schedules help. sleepeducation.org
Seasonal affective disorder (NIMH): symptoms, when to consider light therapy, and other treatments. nimh.nih.gov
CSEP 24-Hour Movement Guidelines (Canada, 65+): movement, sitting, and sleep targets that support better nights. csepguidelines.ca+1

The post Fix Your Sleep After the Time Change appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

Holiday Scam Watch: Outsmart AI Voice-Cloning

Jacquie Doucette — Sun, 26 Oct 2025 17:21:00 +0000

“Grandma, It’s Me”—Or Is It?

A Friendly Guide to Outsmart AI-Powered Impostor Scams

TL;DR: Scammers can now clone a loved one’s voice from a few seconds of audio and pressure you to send money fast. Your best defense is a pre-agreed family verification plan (code phrase + call-back rule), a calm 60-second script when a surprise “emergency” call arrives and knowing where to report in the U.S. and Canada. Set it up today, share it with family, and you’ll be ready to help without getting hustled.

If your phone buzzed right now and a shaky, familiar voice said, “Grandma, don’t hang up! I’m in trouble,” your heart would race. That’s exactly what scammers count on. And thanks to AI voice cloning, they can make a stranger sound eerily like someone you love with just a few seconds of audio pulled from social media or old voicemails. The U.S. Federal Trade Commission has warned that criminals are using cloned voices to fuel emergency and impostor scams, and they want you to act before you think.

Here’s the good news: you don’t need to be a tech expert to stay safe. You just need a repeatable plan you can use even when emotions run high.

Why this is spiking now (and why holidays are prime time)

Voice cloning is easy to do. Consumer-grade tools can mimic a voice with a few seconds of audio, which scammers can lift from public posts. (Regulators and consumer groups have been pushing responses, including the FTC’s Voice Cloning Challenge and recent enforcement/education efforts.)
Older adults are heavily targeted. In 2024 alone, U.S. elder-fraud losses reported to the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) approached $4.9 billion—a sharp jump from 2023. Impostor and “grandparent” emergencies remain common pathways.
Canada is seeing the same patterns. The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CAFC) has tracked a rise in emergency/“grandparent” scams, including text-message and social-media variants, and urges families to verify independently and report them.

Bottom line: scammers mix urgency, secrecy, and a convincing voice. Your job is to slow things down and verify, without guilt.

Your 60-second “Wait-a-Minute” Script (print this)

When a surprise “I’m in trouble” call/text arrives:

Pause and breathe (5 seconds). You’re in control.
Say this: “I’m here to help. I have to verify you first. What’s our family code?”
No code or wrong code? Say: “I’m going to call you right back on your usual number.” Hang up. Call the number saved in your contacts (or another trusted relative).
Still unsure? Ask two private questions a scammer wouldn’t know (pet nickname, last thing you cooked together).
Never pay on the same call. No gift cards, no wire/e-transfer, no crypto, no couriers.
If they claim a gag order or demand secrecy, that’s your cue that it’s a scam. End the call and verify with family or the police non-emergency line.

In Canada, CAFC specifically notes “broken phone” variations (texts or DMs from a “new number”) and “gag order” threats. Treat those as red flags and move to your callback plan.

Build your Family Verification Plan (it takes 5 minutes)

Step 1: Pick a code phrase. Something ordinary and memorable, not a password you use elsewhere. Share it with your inner circle only.

Step 2: Save real numbers. For kids, grandkids, close friends, doctors, and workplaces, make sure you’ve stored their verified contact info.

Step 3: Agree on the rule: No decisions or payments on an incoming call. You hang up and call back using the number already in your contacts.

Step 4: Add a backup tree. If you can’t reach the person, call one other relative or neighbor who can physically check on them.

Step 5: Rehearse once. A quick practice call makes it easy to follow the plan when emotions spike.

Know the tricks you’ll hear (and how to answer)

“Grandma, it’s me; don’t tell Mom and Dad.”

“I want to help. First, our family code, and I’m calling you back on your usual number.”

“I need bail money now; a lawyer/police officer will explain.”

“I won’t pay on this call. I’ll call the police and our family lawyer directly.” (CAFC and other agencies flag fake “officials,” secrecy demands, and requests for couriers to pick up cash.)

“My phone is broken; text me at this new number only.”

“I’ll call your saved number or another relative to confirm.” (CAFC documents this “broken phone” variant.)

Tech settings that help (U.S. & Canada)

Let your phone help you screen. Many carriers and devices now show verification indicators (STIR/SHAKEN) that help identify spoofed caller IDs; still, remember that any number can be spoofed; verification is on you.
Use your carrier’s spam-filter tools. Canadian carriers publish caller-ID spoofing tips and blocking options; check your provider’s page and turn them on. (Examples: Rogers, Freedom Mobile.)
Limit public audio/video. If you post videos, consider friends-only privacy settings. Fewer voice samples online = fewer raw materials for cloners. (Consumer and industry warnings emphasize that scammers can work with very short clips.)

If it’s really an emergency, this plan still works

If the call is genuine, your loved one (or a real official) can answer your private questions, use the family code, and accept a call-back to a known number. Verifying doesn’t slow real help; it prevents misdirected help.

Report & recover (save these)

United States

Report scams to the FTC (Consumer Advice has step-by-step recovery guides). If the online form is unavailable during a shutdown, use the FTC’s main contact page or return when service resumes.
Report online/phone fraud to the FBI’s IC3 and call the Elder Fraud Hotline: 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311) for one-on-one help.

Canada

Report to your local police and to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CAFC) (online reporting system or 1-888-495-8501). CAFC explains what to do if you’re a victim and how to report even attempted scams.

Why reporting matters: It helps agencies spot patterns and disrupt organized fraud rings. The FBI and CAFC both note that losses are under-reported, especially in elder fraud cases. Your report protects others.

The “why” behind the plan (in plain English)

AI ups the emotional stakes. When a voice sounds right, you’re more likely to act. Scammers exploit that with urgency. The FTC has warned consumers specifically about voice-cloned emergency and business-impostor scams.
Losses are rising fast. Elder-fraud complaints and losses surged from 2023 to 2024, with billions reported to IC3. That’s only what’s reported.
Verification is simple and effective. Agencies in both countries advise hanging up and calling back using a known number, plus refusing secrecy and pressure tactics. Your code phrase just makes it faster.

Your Holiday Readiness Checklist

Family code phrase saved in everyone’s contacts notes.
Callback rule agreed (no payments on incoming calls).
Two “private questions” listed in your notes app.
Carrier spam filtering on; voicemail greeting updated (“We don’t act on urgent phone requests—text won’t speed things up”).
Report links handy: FTC Consumer Advice / Contact; IC3 + Elder Fraud Hotline; CAFC reporting page.

Tape the checklist inside a cupboard or by your desk phone. Share it with your adult kids and grandkids so everyone uses the same playbook.

Quick Q&A

What if the caller ID shows my (grand)child’s real number?

Caller ID can be spoofed—treat it as unverified. Use your callback rule to a known number (or reach a relative who’s physically with them).

They sent a video that looks like my granddaughter.

Deepfakes are improving. Use the code phrase and callback anyway. If they dodge either, that’s your answer. (Consumer and press reporting have documented recent cases of convincing AI fakes.)

I already sent money. What now?

Call your bank/credit card immediately to try to reverse or freeze transfers.
Report to FTC + IC3 (U.S.) or CAFC + local police (Canada) and keep all receipts and messages; agencies advise including as many details as possible.

Extra credit: tighten your online presence (5-minute tidy-up)

Make older public videos friends-only so your voice is harder to clone.
Remove your phone number and birthdate from public profiles.
Tell relatives not to post travel plans in real time (scammers love that context for fake emergencies).
Consider a quick read on AI-generated scams from reputable Canadian banking resources to refresh your radar.

If this helped, take five minutes to set your family code and callback rule, then share this post with your crew. After that, cue up the Beyond Retirement podcast: listen to past episodes, get ready for the new season, and suggest guests; we’re interviewing retirees about expectations vs. reality. Your story (or your neighbour’s) could keep someone safer this season.

Sources & further reading (links in text)

FTC Consumer Alert: Fighting back against harmful voice cloning. Practical signs and steps.
FBI (IC3) Elder Fraud data (2024/2025 highlights): Trends and reporting channels; losses to elder fraud rose sharply in 2024.
CAFC: Emergency/“grandparent” scam overview and current variants (texts/DMs, gag-order, broken-phone).
CRTC: Caller-ID spoofing basics and consumer protection tips.
FTC Data Spotlight (2025): Large-loss scams against older adults continue to climb.

The post Holiday Scam Watch: Outsmart AI Voice-Cloning appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

Fall 2025 Vaccine update

Jacquie Doucette — Sun, 19 Oct 2025 16:05:37 +0000

Fall 2025 Respiratory Vaccine Guide (Flu, COVID-19, RSV) — A Friendly Plan for Older Adults

You don’t need a medical degree (or a second browser tab) to figure out this year’s shots. You just need a clear, gentle plan that fits your life. Below is the quick version for the U.S. and Canada, followed by the “why,” the timing, and simple booking links.

TL;DR: You’ll likely need one flu shot, one COVID-19 update, and a one-time RSV shot if you’re 75+ (or 50–74 with risk factors in the U.S./per your provider’s advice in Canada). Aim for September–October for flu, and get COVID at the same visit if you’re due. For 65+, ask for high-dose, adjuvanted, or recombinant flu vaccine. Book at your pharmacy or local clinic—links below

Your simple checklist

Flu (influenza): If you’re 65+, ask for one of the preferred options:
- High-dose inactivated (HD-IIV), adjuvanted (aIIV), or recombinant (RIV)—whichever your pharmacy has. If none are available, get any age-appropriate flu vaccine. Best timing: September–October, but later is still worthwhile.
COVID-19: If you’re due for the updated 2025–26 vaccine, get it. In the U.S., CDC uses shared clinical decision-making for most adults now (broader access at pharmacies); in Canada, NACI recommends vaccination for adults 65+ and those at higher risk, with guidance on whether some groups should receive two doses per year. You can get it with your flu shot—same visit, different arms.
RSV:
- U.S.: One-time RSV vaccine is recommended for all adults 75+ and for 50–74 who are at increased risk (e.g., chronic heart/lung disease, immunocompromise, nursing-home residence).
- Canada: A single dose is recommended for 75+ and for 60+ living in long-term care; 50–74 may consider it with their clinician based on risk.

If you like to keep things super simple: Book a single pharmacy visit in October and take care of flu + COVID together; if you’re in the RSV-eligible group and haven’t had it yet, ask about getting that scheduled as well. (Spacing is fine too—do what feels best for your body and calendar.)

Why these three matter (in plain language)

Flu hits older adults harder. For 65+, the immune system needs a stronger nudge—hence the high-dose, adjuvanted, or recombinant options. These are preferred for older adults because they generally stimulate a better response.
COVID-19 hasn’t clocked out. Guidance has shifted to individualized decisions, but the goal is the same: reduce severe illness and hospitalization, especially for older adults and those with chronic conditions. Pharmacies can assess you quickly at the counter.
RSV can be serious in older adults. The one-time adult RSV vaccines target a virus that often looks like a “bad chest cold” but can lead to pneumonia and hospitalization. Eligibility differs slightly between the U.S. and Canada (details below).

Best timing (and how to think about it)

Flu: For most adults who need one dose, target September–October so protection lasts into winter peaks. If you miss October, get it later—it still helps while viruses circulate.
COVID-19: Time your dose when you’re due (ask your pharmacist if unsure). Coordinating with your flu visit is fine; some experts suggest October for convenience and prolonged coverage into winter.
Co-administration: Getting flu and COVID together is okay (different arms), with safety data supporting this; some people have slightly milder side effects when co-administered. RSV can also be co-administered—discuss with your provider if you prefer spacing a week or two.

Pro tip: If you’ve got a big trip, surgery, or a family gathering coming up, schedule shots 2–3 weeks ahead so you’ve built protection and sailed past any short-term side effects (sore arm, fatigue).

What exactly to ask for at the counter

Flu (for 65+)

“Do you have one of the preferred options for older adults—high-dose, adjuvanted, or recombinant?” If they’re out, say yes to any age-appropriate flu vaccine so you aren’t left unprotected. (Don’t chase brands across town.)

COVID-19

“Am I due for the updated 2025–26 dose?” In the U.S., you and the pharmacist will decide together (shared clinical decision-making). In Canada, 65+ and higher-risk groups are clearly recommended; others may receive a dose based on risk and preference.

RSV

U.S.: “I’m 75+—I need the one-time RSV shot,” or “I’m 50–74 with [risk factor]—am I eligible?” Available brands include Arexvy, Abrysvo, and mResvia (your pharmacist will match by age/eligibility).
Canada: “I’m 75+ (or 60+ in long-term care)—can we book the single-dose RSV vaccine?” Adults 50–74 can consider vaccination with their provider if risks are higher.

Side effects & comfort tips

Common: Sore arm, mild fatigue, headache, low fever—usually 1–3 days.
Make it easier: Hydrate, plan a light day, and consider different arms if you’re getting two vaccines.
When to call: If symptoms worry you or persist beyond a few days, contact your clinician or pharmacist.

Where to book

United States: Use Vaccines.gov to find pharmacies for flu/COVID/RSV near you; or call 1-800-232-0233. Veterans can also check the VA locator. Vaccines
Canada: Start with your province/territory or local public health; many provinces (like BC) send Get Vaccinated invitations or list clinic finders. National info on flu clinics is also available. Canada.ca

Practical FAQs

Can I get all three (flu, COVID, RSV) in one day?
You can get flu + COVID together. For RSV, many people choose to space it (e.g., a week or two later) to better track side effects, but your pharmacist can co-administer if appropriate and available. Do what feels best for your comfort and schedule.

Which flu brand is “best” for seniors?
There’s no single winner. For 65+, the type matters more than the brand—ask for high-dose, adjuvanted, or recombinant. If a preferred option isn’t available today, get what’s available rather than waiting weeks.

What if I’m homebound or don’t drive?
In the U.S., call the Aging Network/Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) to find help with rides and mobile clinics.

In Canada, contact your local public health unit or provincial booking lines for accessible options and community clinics.

Does it still help if I’m getting vaccinated “late”?
Yes. Flu and COVID circulate through winter; late is better than never.

Sources & references (key links)

Flu (U.S.): ACIP summary & 2025–26 recommendations; timing guidance. CDC+2CDC+2
Flu (Canada): NACI 2025–26 seasonal influenza statement + summary. Canada.ca+1
COVID-19 (U.S.): Coverage/access and shared clinical decision-making updates (news explainer aligned with CDC policy); adult schedule page. Reuters+1
COVID-19 (Canada): NACI 2025–26 guidance (who should get vaccinated, who may need two doses per year). Canada.ca
RSV (U.S.): CDC adult RSV guidance (who should get it; available products). CDC
RSV (Canada): Canadian Immunization Guide—RSV in older adults (eligibility by age/setting; brand nuances). Canada.ca
Co-administration & timing help: CDC flu/COVID co-administration; expert timing rationale for October. CDC+1
Where to book: Vaccines.gov (U.S.); Canada flu clinic info and provincial booking examples (BC). Vaccines+2Canada.ca+2

If this helped, take five minutes to book your shots, then cue up the Beyond Retirement podcast: listen to past episodes, get ready for the new season, and suggest guests. We’re interviewing retirees about expectations vs. reality—your story (or your neighbour’s) could help someone have a healthier, happier season.

The post Fall 2025 Vaccine update appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

Your Retirement Connection Plan

Jacquie Doucette — Mon, 13 Oct 2025 00:46:28 +0000

Your Retirement Connection Plan (Stop Loneliness Before It Starts)

TL;DR: You don’t have to wait for the perfect friend group or a packed calendar to feel connected. A few consistent “micro-social” habits—plus a weekly ritual and low-pressure ways to meet people—can protect your health (the risks of poor social connection rival smoking) and make daily life brighter. This guide gives you a step-by-step Connection Plan you can start today, with options for every energy level and season.

If you’re honest, you can probably feel the edges of lonely from time to time. Not the dramatic kind—just the quiet ache when routines change, the house goes silent, and you’re not sure who to text for a walk. You’re not broken, and you’re definitely not alone. Major health organizations now call loneliness and social disconnection a public-health issue, especially as life transitions stack up around retirement.^{1, 5}

First, a gentle reality check (you’re not imagining it)

You’ll hear two terms woven through the research:

Loneliness = how you feel (the gap between the social connection you have and what you want).
Social isolation = the quantity of contact (how often you interact with others).

Both matter for your health. Lacking social connection is linked to higher risks of heart disease, stroke, anxiety, depression, dementia, and even premature death. In fact, the risk level from poor social connection has been compared to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.^{2, 3} In Canada, roughly 1 in 5 seniors reported loneliness before and during the pandemic, and government reviews estimate about 30% are at risk of becoming socially isolated.^{4, 6}

Your 5-minute “Connection Baseline”

Daily micro-connections (hellos with neighbours/barista, quick texts, short calls)
Weekly planned connection (standing walk, lunch, class, or club)
Depth moments (conversations where you feel seen/heard)
Purposeful contribution (helping someone, volunteering, sharing a skill)
Energy fit (connections that match your social battery—no dread)

Circle two numbers you want to nudge up by just +1 over the next four weeks. That’s your first target.

The 7-Day Kickstart: tiny moves that actually happen

Day 1: Set your “micro-social” cue

Pick a daily anchor you already do—morning tea, dog walk, mail check. Attach a 60-second reach-out to it.

Day 2: Make one standing plan (same day/time, every week)

A weekly rhythm beats one-off scheduling ping-pong. Standing plans reduce friction and grow roots over time.

Day 3: Refresh your conversation openers

“What’s something you’re looking forward to this week?”
“What do you like most about this group/club/neighbourhood?”
“I’m new to ___—any beginner tips?”

Day 4: Match for energy

Choose gentle formats: parallel activities, short-window meetups, shared quiet.

Day 5: Try one interest-based space

Community centres, libraries, gardens, volunteer shifts, faith/meditation groups.

Day 6: Use tech with intention (bridge, don’t replace)

Let digital tools feed in-person contact, not substitute for it.²

Day 7: A gentle “depth” moment

Reach out to one person for a slightly deeper check-in: “How are you really this week?”

Your 4-Week Connection Plan (keep it simple)

Every day: one micro-social touch.
Every week: 1 standing plan, 1 depth moment, 1 contribution.
Every month: 1 new doorway, 1 invite, 1 gratitude/maintenance message.

Frequency + predictability beat intensity.²

Your “Connection Stack”: options for any energy level

Low-energy days

Wave + use a name; short voice note; share a photo.

Medium-energy days

20-minute walk-and-talk; library chat; half-meeting attendance.

High-energy days

Host porch tea; try a beginner class; volunteer on a team.

What to say (when your brain goes blank)

Use the S.A.Y. prompts: Share, Ask, Yes-and. Keep exits kind and clear.

Build places that invite people

Front-facing life: a chair near the porch/lobby, a visible plant, a question board.
Open-door hours: same place + same time each week.
Shared projects: seed library box, puzzle table, free-fix evening.

When connection feels hard (and what to try instead)

New town? Start with place-based repeats. Mobility or weather issues? Rotate short home visits and phone-walks. Hearing or vision changes? Get checked—sensory support can make social time easier.⁵

Why all this matters (the health case in plain language)

Social connection ties to lower risks of cardiovascular disease, stroke, depression, anxiety, dementia, and premature death. Some experts compare chronic disconnection to the harms of daily smoking.^{1, 2}

Your next best step (pick one)

Text a friend for a 20-minute walk.
Block a weekly connection hour.
Ask the library for one newcomer-friendly event.
Fill in your one-page Connection Plan.

Sources

U.S. Surgeon General (2023). Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.
Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health (2024). The importance of connections.
HHS (Graphic, 2017 summary). Lacking social connection vs. 15 cigarettes/day.
Statistics Canada (2023). A look at loneliness among seniors.
National Academies/NCBI (2020). Social Isolation and Loneliness in Older Adults.
Government of Canada (2024). Social isolation of seniors—Understanding the issue.

The post Your Retirement Connection Plan appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

When the Work Friends Disappear

Jacquie Doucette — Fri, 06 Jun 2025 20:28:53 +0000

You shared laughter over lunch breaks. Exchanged stories in the hallway. Celebrated birthdays, work wins, and retirements. And then, just like that—it’s over.

No farewell party can truly prepare you for the quiet that follows.

When you leave the workforce, it’s not just your job that ends—it’s the entire ecosystem of social connection that surrounded it. The coworkers you saw more than your own family. The rhythm of check-ins, small talk, inside jokes. The comfort of being known—not just as a professional, but as a person.

And then the phone stops ringing. Group chats go silent. You scroll past a post about someone’s birthday and realize you forgot. Or they forgot yours.

No one talks much about this part. But it’s real. And it can hurt more than you expected.

A Loss That Doesn’t Make a Sound

There’s no obituary for a work friendship. It doesn’t end in a fight or a grand goodbye. It just… fades. Life moves on. So do people. And while some relationships hold, many do not.

It can feel like you’ve lost a piece of yourself—because you have. You’ve lost the version of yourself who was woven into a community, who had a role to play and a place to be every day.

This is one of retirement’s quietest heartbreaks. And like any loss, it deserves to be grieved.

Grief Is a Form of Love

It’s okay to miss them. It’s okay to feel awkward or left behind. You’re not being overly sensitive. You’re being human.

This post isn’t here to tell you to “get out there” or “make new friends” (though you may want to). It’s here to say: pause first. Let yourself feel what’s been lost. Honor those friendships for what they were. They mattered. They were real. And they supported you through decades of your life.

Maybe you’ll rekindle some of them. Maybe a holiday message will lead to coffee. Or maybe not. Either way, you get to decide how you carry those connections forward—in memory or in renewed presence.

Your Social Life Isn’t Over

If this quiet ache is something you’ve been carrying, know this: it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re wired for connection—and your body, your mind, your heart still crave it.

Work friendships may have ended, but the need for companionship hasn’t. You still deserve laughter, conversation, belonging. And it’s not too late to find it again—in new places, with new people, or in unexpected ways.

But start here. Start with honesty. Start by saying it out loud:

“I miss them.”

And let that be enough—for now.

In case you want a “solution-based” approach…

How to Rebuild Your Social Life After Leaving Work

You said goodbye to the office—but didn’t expect to feel quite so alone afterward.

It’s a common surprise: how much of your social life was built right into your job. The coffee chats, team lunches, birthday cards, and venting sessions in the break room. You didn’t just lose a schedule when you retired—you lost a social structure.

And while those connections may have faded, your ability to create new ones hasn’t.

Rebuilding a social life in retirement isn’t about forcing friendships. It’s about gently creating opportunities for connection, one small step at a time.

Here’s how to begin.

1. Start by Reaching Out to One Person

You don’t need to form a whole new friend group overnight. Start with one message. One email. One coffee invitation to an old coworker, neighbor, or community acquaintance. Most people are more open to reconnection than you’d think.

If someone doesn’t respond? That’s okay. Keep going. This is about planting seeds, not perfect outcomes.

2. Revisit Past Chapters

Think back to earlier seasons of your life. Is there someone from your parenting years, your neighborhood, a past hobby, or a long-ago book club you enjoyed? Retirement is a great time to rekindle low-pressure, familiar connections.

A quick “I was thinking of you today—how are you doing?” can open a meaningful door.

3. Show Up Where People Gather

You don’t need to be an extrovert to connect with others. Join a class, a walking group, a faith community, or a volunteer team. Look for recurring activities, where familiarity builds slowly over time.

Sometimes just being in a shared space consistently leads to organic relationships.

4. Create Light Structure

If unstructured time is part of what makes you feel isolated, add some gentle social rhythm to your week. Maybe Tuesday is your café morning. Thursday is library hour. Saturday is phone call day. Routine makes connection feel easier to manage—and gives you something to look forward to.

5. Embrace Your Role as a Connector

Sometimes you’re the one who creates the space. Host a casual coffee hour. Start a small interest group. Organize a recurring walk or potluck. Others may be just as eager for connection but unsure how to initiate it.

You have the life experience, empathy, and time to bring people together.

You’re Not Starting Over—You’re Starting Fresh

Losing work friends is real—but it doesn’t mean your social life is over. It means it’s ready to evolve.

This chapter invites you to connect not out of obligation, but from intention. Not just with who’s around, but with people who align with who you are now.

You’re not alone in missing the people who once filled your days.

And you’re not alone in hoping for connection again.

It begins with a single hello.

The post When the Work Friends Disappear appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

Retirement – Is It All It’s Cracked Up To Be?

Jacquie Doucette — Sat, 28 Oct 2023 01:13:04 +0000

Ah, retirement – it’s like ordering a pizza with all your favorite toppings, and then the delivery guy shows up with a pineapple and anchovy concoction. Retirement is like that, full of surprises, some delightful and some, well, not exactly what you had in mind. And each time you ask someone about it, you get a different answer!

We’ve put together a few FAQs to help guide you on this journey…or at least to lighten it up a bit.

Is retirement just one long vacation?

People often envision retirement as an endless vacation, complete with hammocks swaying in the breeze and drinks garnished with tiny umbrellas. But in reality, retirement can be more like an extended staycation in your own living room.

Imagine waking up every morning with no particular place to be. The first few weeks, it’s fantastic, but then you start to wonder, “What do I do with all this time?” Sure, you can binge-watch your favorite shows, but even Netflix will send you a message once in a while with a concerned tone, asking, “Are you still there?”

What’s the most significant challenge in retirement?

The answer to this question can change from day to day, or even hour to hour. One moment, the most significant challenge might be deciding what to have for breakfast, and the next, it’s trying to remember where you left your reading glasses for the umpteenth time.

Can I retire early and enjoy it to the fullest?

Early retirement is like trying to leave a party without saying goodbye to anyone. It’s possible, but you’ll need to be discreet and plan your escape carefully. Financial planning becomes a delicate art, much like walking a tightrope.

You might find yourself doing the math, considering if you can afford to retire early. Then, you realize that your financial spreadsheet resembles a Picasso painting more than a well-organized document. And just when you think you’re ready, you remember the roof that’s been leaking for months and the rising cost of healthcare.

What’s the best way to stay active and engaged in retirement?

Retirement can sometimes feel like a never-ending weekend, but what’s the point of weekends if every day is a weekend? Staying active and engaged is key to enjoying retirement. Whether it’s taking up painting, volunteering at the local animal shelter, or deciding that maybe that part-time job at the bakery is not such a bad idea after all, staying engaged is the secret sauce to keeping retirement interesting.

And while you’re out there embracing new adventures, you might even discover hidden talents. You could become the Picasso of your local art community, the guardian angel of all stray cats, or the connoisseur of croissants

Is there a right time to retire, or is it different for everyone?

The right time to retire is a bit like choosing the perfect pair of shoes – it’s highly personal and depends on individual preferences. Some people prefer to retire as soon as they can, while others enjoy the structured routine of their job for as long as they can.

Ultimately, retirement is a unique chapter in your life story, and like any good story, it has its ups and downs, its moments of humor, and its occasional plot twists. The key is to embrace it with open arms, laughter, and maybe a hint of sarcasm.

And, as we wrap up this journey through the enigmatic world of retirement, remember, it’s a bit like that mystery novel you can’t put down – you’re never quite sure what’s coming next. So, is retirement all it’s cracked up to be? Well, you’ll have to try it yourself to find out.

Embrace the quirks, enjoy the ride, and remember, life is full of surprises, just like retirement.

In case you’re really wondering about the answers to any of these FAQs, here are the more serious alternatives.

Is retirement just one long vacation?

No, retirement can be a mix of relaxation and new challenges. It’s what you make of it.

What’s the most significant challenge in retirement?

Managing finances and healthcare can be two of the most significant challenges in retirement.

Can I retire early and enjoy it to the fullest?

Early retirement is possible, but it requires careful financial planning and consideration of healthcare needs.

What’s the best way to stay active and engaged in retirement?

Pursue hobbies, volunteer work, or even consider a part-time job to stay active and engaged.

Is there a right time to retire, or is it different for everyone?

The right time to retire varies from person to person and depends on individual financial and personal circumstances.

The post Retirement – Is It All It’s Cracked Up To Be? appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

Does Your Partner Share Your Vision?

Jacquie Doucette — Mon, 04 Sep 2023 19:13:53 +0000

Have you spent any time talking with your partner about what retirement is going to look like for each of you?

The best time to start conversations about retirement life is BEFORE retirement arrives. Making sure you’re both on the same page might take some time.

It’s not always easy to begin a conversation about retirement, especially if one of you is in a different stage of working life. But taking the time to understand how each other feels about what’s coming will go a long way toward making the transition smooth so you both enjoy the next stage.

Here are some questions to answer to get you in the right frame of mind about retirement. You should answer separately from your partner and then talk about your responses together. It will probably be an enlightening conversation!

What really matters to you in life? List 2 or 3 things that are important to you to have or continue doing in retirement.
What goals do you have in retirement? List anything you want to accomplish, like visiting certain countries, supporting your community, writing a book.
Do you want to end your life with money to spare or spend it all before you die?
What are your physical/recreational plans for retirement? List the activities you intend to continue (or start).
Do you want to stay in your current location or is there someplace else you’d like to live? Full-time or part-time?
Is your home the right size for you and does it have everything you want/need?
How does the rest of your family fit into your retirement picture?

After you’ve answered all the questions and you’re sure your partner has too, make a date to sit down and talk about the answers. Take the time to go over each answer carefully and talk about why each of you answered the way you did. Ask questions so you’re sure you understand!

If you’ve got the time, it wouldn’t hurt to review the questions and answers later on, to see if anything has changed for you. And remember that none of this is set in stone! You can always change your mind about what you want to do and where you want to be in retirement.

Something I always find amusing is that so many people seem to think that retirement is going to be boring or that they won’t be able to find things to do. Naturally you have to physically get off your chair and DO something; the activities aren’t going to drop into your lap from the ceiling above you. But as long as you keep an open mind about what is available to you, there will be doors opening around you all the time. Just pick one and step through it… you might be amazed by what’s on the other side!

The post Does Your Partner Share Your Vision? appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

Preparing for the Inevitable: The Importance of End-of-Life Planning

Jacquie Doucette — Sat, 20 May 2023 19:54:28 +0000

People are taking better care of themselves, medical breakthroughs are continuing to occur … and in general lives are getting longer.

We’re also getting busier, it seems. There are more activities and responsibilities tugging at us. We’re doing our best to pack more life into every year.

These facts don’t remove the importance of end-of-life planning and the impact it can have on our loved ones. Maybe even more than before, it’s important to have these conversations sooner rather than later, so everyone is on the same page when the time comes. Even when the planning is done in advance, making the final decisions can be extremely painful; knowing for sure that we’re doing what our loved one wanted can ease some of that pain. And while having the conversations when everyone involved is still healthy won’t make those conversations happy, it WILL go a long way toward ensuring that everyone is comfortable and emotions don’t take over.

There are many resources for people who want to take care of their arrangements in advance and if necessary, most organizations offer assistance in understanding the steps involved. There is also information on other aspects of end-of-life, including healthcare, finances, communication, and how to deal with memories.

On a recent podcast, I talked with Kim Medici Shelquist, who works with the Love Always Project. This organization grew from an observed need to help people in their time of greatest emotional pain. Not only does the Project offer to help in planning end-of-life activities, but they also offer a community where individuals can find solace in shared experiences and get support from others who have been in similar situations. Sometimes, avoiding the topic of death can be paralyzing; finding someone to relate to can help you navigate the waters and get you back on your way to leading a fulfilling life.

Life is a journey that brings both positive and negative experiences, but the way we approach those experiences determines the way we live our lives.

I believe it is essential to confront challenges head-on rather than avoiding them for a short-term reprieve. Although shying away from uncomfortable tasks and situations may seem bearable, it hinders growth and prevents us from evolving through experience.

There will probably be many times throughout your life that cause you to wish you’d taken a different route, made a different remark, or chosen option B instead of option A. However, when it comes to end-of-life decisions, there is no room for regret.

Preparing for these decisions shows great love and empathy for the well-being of our families. By taking the time to sort out your own end-of-life arrangements, you can ensure that your loved ones aren’t left with the burden of making these decisions. Encouraging loved ones to make these arrangements in advance also shows that we care about their wishes.

Emotions may cause turmoil during difficult times, but having decisions made in advance can alleviate some of the stress and anxiety for everyone involved.

The post Preparing for the Inevitable: The Importance of End-of-Life Planning appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

Embracing Optimism

Jacquie Doucette — Thu, 04 May 2023 13:48:44 +0000

Do you feel like life is constantly beating you down?

Discover How Embracing Optimism Can Improve All Aspects of Your Life

Sign Up Now to Get the:
Embrace Optimism in Your Life report

From: Beyond Retirement
Date: 4 May 2023
Subject: Embracing Optimism

Life is full of difficulties. It doesn’t matter who you are or what type of lifestyle you lead, you will experience the ebb and flow of life.

Many people take these changes with a grain of salt, never losing momentum. Others seem to fall flat on their face with each unexpected change. Why the difference? Because some are optimistic, choosing to look at the glass as half-full and others have a more pessimistic outlook, viewing the same glass as half-empty.

That’s right – it’s all in how you view things.

Embracing optimism is showing to have huge benefits not only in mind, but in body and spirit, as well. With a conscious decision to become more optimistic, a few tips and techniques, new habits form, health improves, and lives change.

If you’re tired of letting life get the best of you, grab this free report today

Sign up today and you’ll Learn:

Why being optimistic is so powerful

The benefits of being optimistic for ourselves

The benefits of being optimistic for others.

How to become more optimistic

Tips for the journey towards becoming more optimistic

…and a whole lot more!

If you are ready to embrace optimism while improving your mind, body and spirit, sign up for this report now.

Claim Your Free Report:
Embrace Optimism in Your Life

Simply enter your name, email address and click “Submit” and then “Sign Me Up!” below to instantly receive your guide.

Your privacy is protected and your email address will only be used by BEYOND RETIREMENT to communicate with you about retirement lifestyle-related subjects. You can cancel your subscription at any time.

If you are ready to make a positive impact on your life, get signed up right now. Just enter your first name and email address above to get your guide. It’s free!

Here’s to Your Success,
Jacquie Doucette,
OWNER, Beyond Retirement

The post Embracing Optimism appeared first on Beyond Retirement.

So You’re Thinking of a Career Change

Jacquie Doucette — Sun, 09 Apr 2023 23:27:04 +0000

Human beings are excellent at adapting to new environments. We have powerful brains and capable bodies, and the way we are hardwired allows us to succeed in unfamiliar areas if we have to. This inherent ability sometimes leads us to question our current career path. You may have done this yourself. You are pretty confident that you can succeed in some other career, because your current occupation doesn’t reward you financially, mentally, or in some other way that you desire.

You should always be looking for ways to better yourself, physically and mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Some people decide to bounce from one career to another for purely financial reasons. Your motivation may be to spend more time with your family or to retire at a younger age. If you are seriously considering changing careers, you may have a new field of employment in mind.

Don’t leave your current career until you understand the “Big Why” behind your desire to move on.

Find a quiet room in your house where you feel comfortable. Don’t try this practice at work. Wait until you have some free time to yourself. Take a few deep breaths and clear your thoughts. Then ask yourself this simple question, “Why do I want to change careers?”

Your first answer is going to be a knee-jerk reaction. It is going to be something that people traditionally leave jobs and careers for. One of the most popular reasons for seeking a new occupation is to make more money. If that was your answer to this question, that could be a very valid reason, but it is far from your deep-down desire for a career change.

The next step in the process is “the 7 Levels of WHY” … Continue to ask yourself, “Why do I want to xxx?” until you finally get to the heart of the matter.

In this example, you may answer that you are tired of being broke all the time and living paycheque to paycheque. Now it is time to ask yourself, “Why am I tired of being broke all the time?” You may finally say to yourself that you hate being broke because it makes you feel like a failure, and you will never be able to travel and see the world, which has been a lifelong dream.

This is a real “Big WHY”!

In the beginning, you thought consciously that you only wanted to change careers to make more money. Money has very little to do with it, other than money is the vehicle which will allow you to travel and see the world. This is “why” you want to make more money. You only discovered this as your main motivating factor when you kept asking yourself “why” after each successive answer.

Sit down and ask yourself why you are considering moving from one career to another.

Your initial answer is not going to be your true motivation or desire. After each successive answer, keep asking yourself why you feel that way. Eventually, you will discover your “Big Why.” This is the emotion-driven motivation that you need to never forget. Write it down on a piece of paper and carry it with you, looking at it several times a day. This will give you the focus and courage to make the career change necessary to realize your most important dreams and desires.

A Successful Career Change Means Getting Uncomfortable

Most human beings cling to comfort, though science has proven that when you step outside of your comfort zone, that is where the most significant achievement takes place. If it weren’t for taking uncertain steps out into a scary world, we would still be living in caves and throwing rocks at dinosaurs, waiting around for someone to discover fire. Thomas Alva Edison would never have given us the light bulb, and we probably wouldn’t know that bacon goes great with everything.

Thinking about changing careers can be scary.

Most people just stay right where they are, because they are frightened by the possibility of failure. Since they have their family to provide for, they make the justification that they shouldn’t tempt fate, since moving to a new career might not turn out so well. So that person sticks with their current career even though they are not happy, years later wondering “what could have been.”

If You Never Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone, How Do You Know What You Are Truly Capable Of?

Sports records fall every day because athletes keep pushing themselves. They are not happy with their current level of achievement. They want to know how good they can be, so they train and work very hard. They push themselves out of their comfort zone, their regular training regimen. They lift heavier weights, work out longer, and run faster. The result of becoming uncomfortable, training as they have never trained before, is new personal bests and sometimes world records.

This is because of something known as the Yerkes-Dodson Law. Dodson and Yerkes were a couple of psychologists who, in the earliest years of the 20th century, discovered that stress leads to achievement. What they found was that significant achievement did not happen until a person took small steps outside of the environment, surroundings, and behaviors where he felt most comfortable.

Small Steps Lead to Big Change

They noted that when someone was put in an entirely uncomfortable, stressful environment, performance was horrible. However, taking small steps outside of a person’s comfort zone slowly began to expand the area where that person was happy and comfortable. Over time, it becomes easier and easier to take on new tasks and expose yourself to unfamiliar experiences.

If your job is killing you, physically or mentally, maybe you should switch careers. Don’t take a giant leap, take a baby step instead. Rather than immediately moving from one career to another, why not take a part-time job in a career that interests you? Maybe you can sign up for classes or certification in some field that has captured your attention. These small steps outside of your comfort zone will eventually give you the confidence to move onto an entirely different career if your current field of employment is not working out.

The post So You’re Thinking of a Career Change appeared first on Beyond Retirement.